Best Friends Don't Always Make For Perfect Roommates

Searching for apartments to rent?  Need a roommate to split the rent with?  If you need a roommate and have a best friend, you might think your bff will make the perfect roommate for you.  And why not?  You two have the same style in clothing, the same taste in music, love the same kind of movies and plain simply, you two get along great together.  However, when it comes down to renting an apartment, your relationship as best friends will switch over to a new kind or relationship: roommates.  

A relationship with a roommate is much different than a relationship with a bff because with a roommate, responsibilities regarding a leased apartment are shared.  If you get an apartment with your bff you both will be responsible for things like rent, water bill, gas bill, electric, cable, internet and phone bill, along with your own personal finances like your cell phone, car note, car insurance, health insurance, student loans, food and all the other miscellaneous items that pop up everyday.  To spell it out clearly for you, sharing an apartment will boil down to one thing-MONEY!

Ask yourself is your bff responsible?  Are they decent with handling money and can pay their financial obligations on time?  Do they have a steady job?  If you don't honestly answer these questions to yourself and decide to have your bff as a roommate, be prepared for the relationship to go sour if an incident occurs over money.  I went through it twice myself and I seen it happen to several friends of mine.   It's unfortunate, but money  has been the cause for many marriages, business partnerships and friendships to break up.  Sure there is a list of other reasons why you and your bff could stop being friends if you become roommates, but with that said, if living with your bff doesn't work out, keep in mind you guys may end up becoming enemies.

Tips To Make Having Your BFF As Your Roommate Work

1. Before moving in with your bff, first find out what I mentioned above.  Do they have a steady job?  Can your bff easily afford their share of the rent plus other expenses?  It's a good idea to break down living expenses on paper so you and your bff can see in black and white how much it will cost to share an apartment together.  

2. Sit down with your bff and explore issues that could lead to a confrontation.  How would you two resolve those issues?  Be sure to ask questions like "What would happen if one month I don't have money for the rent" or "Would you be upset if my boyfriend/girlfriend sleeps over a few times a week"?  Learning how to solve problems together as roommates will lead to less fights and arguments.

3. You and your bff obviously come from different home lives.  Are you a neat freak and your bff is a total slob whose mom always clean up after them?  If so, a roommate agreement may be helpful to outline some rules of your new home.  Rules like the garbage must be taken out every night, no dishes in the sink, common areas like the bathroom and living must always stay clean can make a world of difference and lead to less confrontation down the road.

4. When it comes to bills like the internet, gas and electric, it may be a good idea to have both your names on the billing statements.  That way if a bill becomes deliqueent, it will affect your credit report equally.  Hey, it's only fair.

5. As roommates, don't assume you can just waltz into your bff's room and borrow clothing or jewelry whenever you want.  Always ask to borrow something even if you know your bff will say yes.  Privacy and being respectful of your roommate's things is key to smooth roommate living.

6. Are you two going to split the food bill together?  You'd be surprised how fights start because your roommate ate your yogurt or you ate all of their ice cream.  I personally think it's good idea to shop for food together.  However, feel free to buy items you want solely for yourself, but just don't hide food from your roommate.  It's not cool and it's petty.  If you buy something you want for yourself, tell your roommate in a polite manner not to touch it.  Vice versa, if you see something in the fridge that wasn't bought together, but you want to eat it, ask your roommate if you can have some.  

7. Love to have guests over?  If you often like to have friends over late at night, be courteous towards your roommate's schedule.  Check in to see if your roommate has to work early the next morning or has finals to take the next day. 

8. Does your bff have a boyfriend/girlfriend that will be sleeping over all the time?  Will you be comfortable with that?  Ask this up front before it becomes a problem.  Also, if your roommate's significant other will be eating up the food you bought together, "the new 3rd roommate" has to chip in money towards the food bill.  A sandwich here and there is no big deal, but if every time you turn around and your roommate's significant other is always in the fridge, it is a big deal.  Food costs money honey.  Just the same, if your roommate's significant other makes a mess around the house, they have to clean up after themselves.  

9.  Another thing about significant others-be careful about always having them around your bff or be careful being around your bff's significant other.  I'm not trying to start something here, I'm just saying I've seen affairs happen as well because roommates get too comfy with having their significant other around the apartment.  The last thing you want is to come home and see your man/girl sleeping with your bff/roommate or being accused of sleeping with your bff/roommate's man/girl.  Not cool!  If that's the case, have your boyfriend/girlfriend as your roommate.  Otherwise, don't leave your man/girl home alone with your bff or be home alone too often with your bff's man/girl!  

10. As with clothes, don't assume you can use or borrow your roommate's electronics.  If you need to get on your roommate's computer for example, ask, ask, ask!  People store private information on their computer from account numbers to journals. I had a friend once who accidental read his bff/roommate's email only to find that his bff was talking trash about him to another friend of theirs.  If you don't want to go through that kind of experience, my advice is to always ask first.

11.  This is one of the main reason why bffs stop being friends-one roommate unexpectedly decides to break the lease and move out, while leaving the other roommate stuck with the apartment and expenses.  If you don't really know or understand much about leases, you better learn.  Some landlords will be more aggressive than others about going after people who break their lease. 

Yes, I understand it's impossible to predict the future, but when you move in with your bff the two of you should agree not to break the lease and move out until the lease is up.   If you and your roommate can't guarantee that you guys won't break the lease, move into an apartment where they have short term leases like 3 months, 6 months and 12 months.  Take my word for it, break the lease without warning your bff/roommate and I promise you guys won't be friends anymore.  I've seen friends sue each other for back rent because of broken leases!

Having your best friend as your roommate can work, but problems happen because best friends sometimes take advantage of each other because they are best friends.  If you value your relationship with your bff and have been friends for years, I honestly don't reccommend having your bff as a roommate.  Sign up for a roommate listing instead.  Sorry, but within a year of living with each other as roommates, I've seen too many relationships between best friends end, mainly because money.  Best friends don't always make for perfect roommates!  Take it from me-I lost 2 best friends this way.   

T. Bo